Not the reaction he was hoping for

Scene: near Ellice on Cumberland, Halloween 1973
Weather: pretty darn nippy
Time: after dark

A young woman is walking along Cumberland towards Ellice when a young man slips past her and into the alley. Moments later, as she comes level with the alley, he steps out with his pants down and his wedding tackle on display.

He: Hey, whaddaya think of this? [pointing]

She: [bursts into giggles, keeps walking]

He: [Comes hopping after her] Hey, hey, get a load of this!

She: [giggles, still walking]

He: [realises that a) he is on a busy street and b) it is the end of October, not such good weather for "tropical fish", begins to button himself up again]

He: [shouting after walking woman] You're no fun!

- thanks to Miss Tick for the submission

That's the first chapter in the story of how you were born

Mother to Toddler: Don't put that in your mouth! You can't just go around putting things in your mouth, it can make you sick. Take my word for it.

-overheard in a walk-in clinic

Or is it just this popcorn I'm eating?

Macho Sports Guy: (whispering) Does anyone else's lips feel buttery?

-overheard in sociology lecture at the uofm