... although, maybe I started it. Long story.

Girl looking at celebrity magazines, to friend: Amy Winehouse seriously frightens me. She looks like an angry transvestite who wants to beat me up in a dark alley.

Friday Blog Recommendations: or Frilogendations!

It may have occurred to some of you, oh readers, that here at Weirdos of Winnipeg we sometimes say good things about our city and sometimes say bad things.

We don't want to give the impression that just because Winnipeg is a city in which you are fairly likely to be either murdered or have your car stolen (or bike if you don't have a car), a city in which far too many people die of the heat in the summer and of the cold in the winter, with deadly mosquitoes and equally deadly malathion designed to fight mosquitoes, with a river that overflows and causes floods fairly often, where our biggest celebrity is Burton Cummings and our mayor may be a criminal, we don't want to give the impression that all of this means that we don't like Winnipeg. Part of what we do here is employ a special kind of humour we invented. Actually, we quite like Winnipeg, and there are lots of reasons why you should too.

In the interests of tempering the overall spirit of negativism we would like to point you, oh reader, to some other blogs about Winnipeg. We hate to make promises, because we are very busy here in the Weirdos of Winnipeg offices, but we hope to feature a new Winnipeg blog every Friday. And if some of those we link to want to link back to us... we will allow it.

If you want to suggest a blog or website for us to feature, you can comment here or email us.

Oh yeah, and today's featured blog is Komodo Dragon in the Morning Show, the blog of a radio show on umfm. Check it out!

Last time I waxed them myself I ended up looking surprised for weeks!

A young lady was trying to get her eyebrows waxed at a St.Boniface salon:

Receptionist: Oh, I'm sorry but [the waxer] won't be in until ...(looking in schedule book and mumbling).... 'leven.

Girl: Never?! I can't wait until never!!

Not the reaction he was hoping for

Scene: near Ellice on Cumberland, Halloween 1973
Weather: pretty darn nippy
Time: after dark

A young woman is walking along Cumberland towards Ellice when a young man slips past her and into the alley. Moments later, as she comes level with the alley, he steps out with his pants down and his wedding tackle on display.

He: Hey, whaddaya think of this? [pointing]

She: [bursts into giggles, keeps walking]

He: [Comes hopping after her] Hey, hey, get a load of this!

She: [giggles, still walking]

He: [realises that a) he is on a busy street and b) it is the end of October, not such good weather for "tropical fish", begins to button himself up again]

He: [shouting after walking woman] You're no fun!

- thanks to Miss Tick for the submission

That's the first chapter in the story of how you were born

Mother to Toddler: Don't put that in your mouth! You can't just go around putting things in your mouth, it can make you sick. Take my word for it.

-overheard in a walk-in clinic

Or is it just this popcorn I'm eating?

Macho Sports Guy: (whispering) Does anyone else's lips feel buttery?

-overheard in sociology lecture at the uofm

Only slightly more expensive then the dads at WalMart

Haggard Daddy: How about you just stay at Safeway and buy yourself a new dad?

Hyper Child: Okay!!

(we suggest this guy)


-overheard in the safeway in osborne village

But then he checked his couch cushions and he found it again

Girl: This guy I know has no leg anymore.

Guy: What happened?

Girl: I don't know. He used to have a leg and now he doesn't.

Guy: That's nice.

-overheard in the uofm library

Postsecret is coming

One of the links on our sidebar and inspiration to us here at Weirdos of Winnipeg,
Postsecret is coming to the WAG later this month.

We encourage all our readers far and wide to go see it.

Happy Halloween, Winnipeg!

What was your favourite costume sighting around Winnipeg today?

Ours were the "Yip, Yip, Yip, Yip, Uh-huh" Sesame Street guy spotted at Portage Place

and the Spy vs Spy guy (or girl?) spotted at the UofM.

...and recording it to post on a website.

Teen Girl: My nose wiggles when I talk, is that weird?
So-and-so: Everyone's nose wiggles when they talk!
Whatsherface: Mine doesn't.
Teen girl: My nose is always cold, maybe that's because it's big
So-and-so: I like guys with big noses.
Teen girl: Doesn't it get in the way when you make out?
So-and-so: No!
Whatsherface: I like big noses too, big Jewish noses.
Teen girl: I think [Alan] has a cute nose.
Whatsherface: You just admited you think he's cute! You said you didn't like him!
Teen girl: Just because I think his nose is cute doesn't mean I like him!
So-and-so: Can you believe we're having this conversation on a bus? We're such freaks, people could be listening.

-overheard on the #60

... plus I could just lap up anything that had been spilled on the floor!

Teen Girl: ... I was soooo drunk. I couldn't even stand. So I just crawled around on the floor looking for change so I could buy some more drinks.

-overheard in a wendy's

Only if you pass...urine?

Soccer Mom #1: I can't believe it! What a great idea!

Soccer Mom #2: I know, instead of the interview, you just have to give a urine sample!

Soccer Mom #1: And then you get the job?

Soccer Mom #2: Well, only if you pass.

overheard in the exchange


-thanks to kevin for the submission

Why did the drunk guy cross the road?

Noticeably Drunk Guy: ... well, I'll admit I'm a little drunk. But I blame the creator. Because I'm BALD! (laughs hysterically) [he's not bald]

Noticeably Sober Guy: ...

NDG: Hey, a joke, a joke. Why did the pygmy cross the, uh, cross the road?

NSG: I don't know. Why?

NDG: Because he wanted to commit suicide! (laughs hysterically. Then, suddenly serious) Do you want to come have a beer with me?

NSG: No thanks, I don't drink.

NDG: (look of disbelief) What...?

-overheard in west broadway

Is it confusing that the Fort Garry isn't in Fort Garry?

Hopeful Bus Rider: Do you go past the Fort Garry?
Bus Driver: I'm going to say... [long pause] ...yes?

HBR gets on the bus. The bus pulls away.

Bus Driver: Where's the Fort Garry?

-overheard on the 60