I wasn't worried. NOW I am...

A guy is walking down the street with some helium balloons. Another guy, out for a smoke stands behind him. Then out of nowhere:

Smokey: Don't worry, I'm not going to pop your balloons.
Balloony: ... okay.

-overheard in west broadway

Friday Blog Recommendations

Breakfast Connoisseurs does a weekly breakfast review, and features a top 5 and bottom 5 breakfasts in Winnipeg. Sweet!

If only we could get people to show up for work...

The Bong Factory



-snapped by blaine

Jumping Jacks?

(Cold couple with coats rounds the corner in a darkened alley)

Scary-looking Cold Couple: Hey, let's jump those people and jack their coats!

Cold Couple with Coats: ...

SLCC: Just kidding! Hahahaha!

CCC: forced laugh

SLCC: My coat is nicer anyway.


-overheard in west broadway

All the months? Even Smarch?

Woman puts deskpad calendar on the counter.

Woman: Is this just the one sheet?
Coworker: Uh, no, there are more sheets underneath.
Woman: Well if they're all January, then what good is that?
Coworker: It has all of the months.
Woman: I don't know. How can you tell?
Me: BECAUSE IT'S A CALENDAR.

-overheard at staples

shout out to overheard in winnipeg's livejournal

Look to Your Left

As you may have noticed, we don't always post as regularly as we wish we could.

But we've noticed that many of you keep turning up, even when we haven't posted anything new in awhile. We thank you, and we hope to do better for you in future. To that end, though, we're curious. What do you, our loyal readers, wish we would do?

There's a poll in the sidebar you can contribute to, or you can leave a comment.

We do, of course, retain the right to do whatever we feel like, regardless of your desires, but we are genuinely curious, and we do genuinely want to make you happy, so we promise to take your opinions into consideration. Thanks.

Thanks for making me feel better about ignoring the poor.

Scruffy Panhandler: Hey, spare some change?
Shaggy Non-Panhandler: Sorry, man, I don't have any on me.
Scruffy: (happy, friendly and cheerful) Don't worry about it! I never do.

-overheard in osborne village

Friday Blog Recommendations

It has been a while since The Burgers of Winnipeg has been updated, but it's still a treasure trove of useful Winnipeg-centric info.

Louis?

Volunteer: ...and how can we help liberate the Metis?

6 yr-old revolutionary: Down with the man!!

(door to hut opens)

6 yr-old co-conspirator: Everybody get ready to die!!!

(door closes)

-Overheard in festival "barracks"

... although, maybe I started it. Long story.

Girl looking at celebrity magazines, to friend: Amy Winehouse seriously frightens me. She looks like an angry transvestite who wants to beat me up in a dark alley.

Friday Blog Recommendations: or Frilogendations!

It may have occurred to some of you, oh readers, that here at Weirdos of Winnipeg we sometimes say good things about our city and sometimes say bad things.

We don't want to give the impression that just because Winnipeg is a city in which you are fairly likely to be either murdered or have your car stolen (or bike if you don't have a car), a city in which far too many people die of the heat in the summer and of the cold in the winter, with deadly mosquitoes and equally deadly malathion designed to fight mosquitoes, with a river that overflows and causes floods fairly often, where our biggest celebrity is Burton Cummings and our mayor may be a criminal, we don't want to give the impression that all of this means that we don't like Winnipeg. Part of what we do here is employ a special kind of humour we invented. Actually, we quite like Winnipeg, and there are lots of reasons why you should too.

In the interests of tempering the overall spirit of negativism we would like to point you, oh reader, to some other blogs about Winnipeg. We hate to make promises, because we are very busy here in the Weirdos of Winnipeg offices, but we hope to feature a new Winnipeg blog every Friday. And if some of those we link to want to link back to us... we will allow it.

If you want to suggest a blog or website for us to feature, you can comment here or email us.

Oh yeah, and today's featured blog is Komodo Dragon in the Morning Show, the blog of a radio show on umfm. Check it out!

Last time I waxed them myself I ended up looking surprised for weeks!

A young lady was trying to get her eyebrows waxed at a St.Boniface salon:

Receptionist: Oh, I'm sorry but [the waxer] won't be in until ...(looking in schedule book and mumbling).... 'leven.

Girl: Never?! I can't wait until never!!

Not the reaction he was hoping for

Scene: near Ellice on Cumberland, Halloween 1973
Weather: pretty darn nippy
Time: after dark

A young woman is walking along Cumberland towards Ellice when a young man slips past her and into the alley. Moments later, as she comes level with the alley, he steps out with his pants down and his wedding tackle on display.

He: Hey, whaddaya think of this? [pointing]

She: [bursts into giggles, keeps walking]

He: [Comes hopping after her] Hey, hey, get a load of this!

She: [giggles, still walking]

He: [realises that a) he is on a busy street and b) it is the end of October, not such good weather for "tropical fish", begins to button himself up again]

He: [shouting after walking woman] You're no fun!

- thanks to Miss Tick for the submission

That's the first chapter in the story of how you were born

Mother to Toddler: Don't put that in your mouth! You can't just go around putting things in your mouth, it can make you sick. Take my word for it.

-overheard in a walk-in clinic

Or is it just this popcorn I'm eating?

Macho Sports Guy: (whispering) Does anyone else's lips feel buttery?

-overheard in sociology lecture at the uofm