Friday, May 30, 2008

When life gives you businessmen...

Woman, on her cell: Is he like a businessman, businessman? Or is this like when I used to call sell lemonade and call myself a businessman?

-overheard on the #60

Thursday, May 29, 2008

But feel free to do so in the bus shelter.

Woman (stepping on to the bus): SHIT!

Bus Driver: Not on my bus, please.

overheard on the #17

Thursday, May 15, 2008

... so I had this guy TOTALLY convinced I was a cop!

I was crossing Portage, when a young man on a bicycle approached me. He was maybe in his early twenties, or younger, with waist-length blond hair and smelled noticeably of beer. In general he looked like he would fit in very well in 1967.

Hippie: Winnipeg Police! Winnipeg Police! Hey.
Me: [slows down, but does not stop]
Hippie: Hey, I'm with the Winnipeg Police, uh, I've got my badge right here [reaches for his back pocket, but doesn't take anything out] Uh, let's cross the street. Yeah, cross the street.
Me: [thinking] Why is he pretending to be the police? Where is he going with this?
Hippie: Where did you get that ... uh ... jacket and book?
Me: [thinking] Is he going to try to mug me for a water-damaged copy of Foucault's Pendulum? I haven't finished it yet!
Hippie: So I'm with the Winnipeg Police...
Me: [keeps walking]
Hippie: So you've been ... uh ... you've been seen dealing drugs. You've been dealing drugs, right?
Me: [laughing] No.
Hippie: Hahaha! Just kidding man! F*** those guys! [bikes away]

Thursday, May 01, 2008

I heard that's how The Flash got his powers.

Two kids are outside an elementary school, one is trying to climb the guidewire attached to a telephone pole.

Girl: You shouldn't climb that! You could get electrocuted.
Boy: I KNOW! That's the whole POINT!

-overheard in wolseley