Monday, April 30, 2007

I mean, I'm not sure that's even anotomically possible...

Two young women are on a plane. One of them has just gotten dumped by text msg and is wondering what to do about it.

Friend: Wait till you're off the plane and text him "fuck you and your glass eye!"

They laugh for a good 5 minutes.

Dumpee: ...but, i dont get it...

-overheard on a flight into winnipeg

thanks to mts (M The Stewardess) for the contribution

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

That's WHY I'm hitting you!

Guy: ...and I said "Stop hitting me, I just shaved my knees!"

-overheard on the #11

Monday, April 09, 2007

Actually, it was Thursday.

While standing at the intersection of Broadway and Osborne, I watched a man dash across the road against traffic. The lights were just changing, so the SUV he cut off was stuck at the red light afterward.

The guy in the SUV shouted out his window:

Manly, manly, SUV guy: Hey @#$*er! Watch where the @#$* you're going!
Manly, manly, jaywalker: @#$% you.
SUV: (gets out of his car) What the @#$% did you say to me?
Jay: @#$% you, man!
SUV: Why the @#$% did you run in front traffic like that, @#$%er?
Jay: (shrug) Why not? It's Saturday.
SUV: (getting back into his car as the lights change) Next time I'll run you down.
Jay: Do it! I'll sue!
SUV: (drives off yelling) @#$@er @#%ing @#$@head ##$face @$#%@^% !!
Jay: (walks off yelling) @#!$wipe $!@sucker @#%$er @*^ing %*!!#bag!!!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Football team orgy or grow-op?

Jock: ... so they're searching all over campus, but we're all in the same elevator shaft!

-overheard at u of m

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Secretly I do care

Buttons now available in the store. Check it out!

Or don't. See if I care.

Let me get this straight: an apple is a bean, like a tomato, but a peanut is a plant?

Expert in Logic: ... it's like and apple and a peanut... it's like a peanut and an apple ... it's like a peanut. It's like, I say a peanut ... it's like, you say a peanut is a legume and I say no it's a plant. Well technically it is a plant, but ... I mean, you say it's a legume and I say it's a bean. Or I mean, a nut. Well technically it is a legume, but ... it's like a tomato. It's like, you say a tomato is a fruit and I say it's a vegetable. Well it is a fruit, but it tastes like a vegetable, you know? It's like, I don't care if I'm wrong as long as you understand me.

-overheard on the #60

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Winnipeg by-law 6942/07

Girl: If you're a bitch, you can't get mad when someone punches you in the face.

-overheard in a bus shelter on osborne

Monday, April 02, 2007

Does that make you a BusSlut?

Pink-haired Teen: You've never been on the bus before? Oh my God, we totally stole your bus virginity!

-overheard on the 66