Happy Halloween, Winnipeg!

What was your favourite costume sighting around Winnipeg today?

Ours were the "Yip, Yip, Yip, Yip, Uh-huh" Sesame Street guy spotted at Portage Place

and the Spy vs Spy guy (or girl?) spotted at the UofM.

...and recording it to post on a website.

Teen Girl: My nose wiggles when I talk, is that weird?
So-and-so: Everyone's nose wiggles when they talk!
Whatsherface: Mine doesn't.
Teen girl: My nose is always cold, maybe that's because it's big
So-and-so: I like guys with big noses.
Teen girl: Doesn't it get in the way when you make out?
So-and-so: No!
Whatsherface: I like big noses too, big Jewish noses.
Teen girl: I think [Alan] has a cute nose.
Whatsherface: You just admited you think he's cute! You said you didn't like him!
Teen girl: Just because I think his nose is cute doesn't mean I like him!
So-and-so: Can you believe we're having this conversation on a bus? We're such freaks, people could be listening.

-overheard on the #60

... plus I could just lap up anything that had been spilled on the floor!

Teen Girl: ... I was soooo drunk. I couldn't even stand. So I just crawled around on the floor looking for change so I could buy some more drinks.

-overheard in a wendy's

Only if you pass...urine?

Soccer Mom #1: I can't believe it! What a great idea!

Soccer Mom #2: I know, instead of the interview, you just have to give a urine sample!

Soccer Mom #1: And then you get the job?

Soccer Mom #2: Well, only if you pass.

overheard in the exchange


-thanks to kevin for the submission

Why did the drunk guy cross the road?

Noticeably Drunk Guy: ... well, I'll admit I'm a little drunk. But I blame the creator. Because I'm BALD! (laughs hysterically) [he's not bald]

Noticeably Sober Guy: ...

NDG: Hey, a joke, a joke. Why did the pygmy cross the, uh, cross the road?

NSG: I don't know. Why?

NDG: Because he wanted to commit suicide! (laughs hysterically. Then, suddenly serious) Do you want to come have a beer with me?

NSG: No thanks, I don't drink.

NDG: (look of disbelief) What...?

-overheard in west broadway

Is it confusing that the Fort Garry isn't in Fort Garry?

Hopeful Bus Rider: Do you go past the Fort Garry?
Bus Driver: I'm going to say... [long pause] ...yes?

HBR gets on the bus. The bus pulls away.

Bus Driver: Where's the Fort Garry?

-overheard on the 60

Pros and Cons

A couple of weeks ago, we went to a downtown restaurant. As we were leaving the busy restaurant, we were approached by a guy in a hardhat.

Hardhat: Excuse me. Do any of you have a cell phone I could borrow? My ^%$ truck just got stolen, with all my tools in it.

Me: Uh, yeah. Sure. Here. (hands over cell phone)

HH: Thanks. I'm from Brandon, but this is a local call, okay. I'm just calling my supervisor. (dials) This is some &*&^ place you've got here. I've been waiting three hours for the police, but they said they have eight cars a day stolen in this &*^& city. %$%#$. My wallet was in the truck too. $#$#. He's not there. Just voicemail. Look, do you have $13 for the bus back to Brandon, or I'm going to be stuck here.

Me: Uh, geez, I'm sorry. I have nothing on me. (shrugs. walks away.)

Questions for discussion:

1. Who does construction on Sunday night?
2. Was it a coincidence that he was hanging around outside a restaurant that was having a little bit of construction done?
3. Why hadn't he already asked the restaurant if he could use their phone, if he had been standing there for three hours?
4. Why did he need $13, if a one-way ticket to Brandon is in fact $31.15?
5. What came first, the hardhat, or the plan?

-thanks to kelly for the story

I have a hug and I'm not afraid to use it

A guy was walking around the Forks Market with a sign that said “FREE HUGS”.

A security officer escorted him off the property.

-thanks to allison for the submission

I didn't actually invent the coffee mug

I was standing waiting for the bus drinking coffee out of a Starbucks travel mug, when this frazzled looking mother looked at me and noticed the mug.

Woman: (really, really excitedly) What a great way to transport coffee!

Me: Uh. Okay.


-thanks to jl for the submission

How else could it know that Halloween is on the 31st AGAIN this year?

Chick 1: Hey, you know how my calendar is psychic?
Chick 2: Uh...

-overheard on the 60

Photo Contest #2

Anti-graffiti advertisements have appeared throughout Winnipeg lately, and naturally they have been subject to ... a lot of graffiti.



Our Second Photo Contest thus begins:
Take pictures of these ads with graffiti on them, and submit them in digital form to:

weirdosofwinnipeg@gmail.com

Our favourite picture will win something from the Weirdos of Winnipeg Store.

RULES:

1. We neither endorse nor encourage graffiti. Be journalists, not vandals. Don't mark up the ads yourself. Firstly, it is a crime, and secondly it's cheating at this contest. Only "found" graffiti is applicable.
2. As with our previous photo contest, by submitting pictures you forfeit legal rights to them. That means: don't submit a picture you want to submit to a different photography contest or want to publish in a book. It may seem greedy of us, but once you submit a picture to us, we own it.
3. Since this contest requires less creativity than our last contest, the prize will be smaller. This time the prize is your choice of any two buttons or magnets. We will also custom make a button or magnet for you.
4. There will be more contests in the future, with bigger and better prizes, so if you lust for our merchandise but don't want to give us any of your money, just be patient.
5. The winner will be announced early in November.

Hey Business Tax! Let my people go!

Sam Katz: I may not be Moses, but I did part the red sea!

-heard on CBC radio