Monday, October 15, 2007

Pros and Cons

A couple of weeks ago, we went to a downtown restaurant. As we were leaving the busy restaurant, we were approached by a guy in a hardhat.

Hardhat: Excuse me. Do any of you have a cell phone I could borrow? My ^%$ truck just got stolen, with all my tools in it.

Me: Uh, yeah. Sure. Here. (hands over cell phone)

HH: Thanks. I'm from Brandon, but this is a local call, okay. I'm just calling my supervisor. (dials) This is some &*&^ place you've got here. I've been waiting three hours for the police, but they said they have eight cars a day stolen in this &*^& city. %$%#$. My wallet was in the truck too. $#$#. He's not there. Just voicemail. Look, do you have $13 for the bus back to Brandon, or I'm going to be stuck here.

Me: Uh, geez, I'm sorry. I have nothing on me. (shrugs. walks away.)

Questions for discussion:

1. Who does construction on Sunday night?
2. Was it a coincidence that he was hanging around outside a restaurant that was having a little bit of construction done?
3. Why hadn't he already asked the restaurant if he could use their phone, if he had been standing there for three hours?
4. Why did he need $13, if a one-way ticket to Brandon is in fact $31.15?
5. What came first, the hardhat, or the plan?

-thanks to kelly for the story

2 comments:

Allison said...

So this guy’s walking around, finds a hardhat, and puts it on.

He thinks to himself, #%*@, I could really use $13. He walks past a downtown restaurant that is under construction. A couple comes out of the restaurant and they look at his hat.

His mental dialogue continues, I bet those people think I’m a construction worker!
...Except that I don’t have any tools.
...But maybe my tools are somewhere else... like in my truck!

[Looks around disappointedly] There aren’t any #%*@en trucks around here...
...BUT
[excited now] maybe my truck was stolen, with my tools in it! And now here I am, with my hardhat, but no tools and no truck...
Yeah. That’s why I’m wearing this hat.


He continues along, now strutting in his hardhat. #%*@, I could really use $13...! [More people look at his hat.] Hey wait a minute! I know how I could get $13!

He approaches the next couple that comes out of the restaurant...
“Excuse me! Do any of you have a cell phone I could borrow? My #%*@en truck just got stolen, with all my tools in it...”

Anonymous said...

This is not really a weirdo story... and this isnt the place for it. If you are such a hard ass, take your story to the cops