Thursday, March 29, 2007

Is the noise being made by people? Like maybe a CROWD of people?

Woman in The Bay: I'm not sure if it's crowded, or just noisy.

-overhead the first (and very busy) day of spring break, in polo park shopping centre

-thanks to Coral for the submission

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

So THAT'S what chaps are for

Leathery Man: There's nothing better then a wet crotch when the rest of your pants are dry.

-overheard in a broadway pawn shop

Friday, March 23, 2007

Don't worry Jim. I think you're beautiful

Movie goer #1: "What this movie about? The Number 23?
Movie goer #2: "With that Jim Carey guy?"
Movie goer #1: (scoffingly) "Yeah..."
Movie goer #2: "Oh, it's about numbers, madness... You know A Beautiful Mind?"
Movie goer #1: "Yeah?"
Movie goer #2: "It's like that, but without the Beautiful."

overheard at silver city polo park

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Resistance is futile

Tech Enthusiast: Wait, did you say "cyber sex"?
Guy: No. CyBORG sex.
Tech Enthusiast: Cyborg sex? That's even better!

-overheard at u of m

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Don't be cocky

Curious Man: So I was checking out your package...
Proud Man: Yeah, it's a great package.

-overheard at the library

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St. Patrick's Day, Winnipeg!

Expert: ...because "kiss me I'm German" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

-overheard at u of m

Friday, March 16, 2007

Welcome to Winnipeg: We have Syphilis!

Is it just me, or are those garbage-can ads (while possibly necessary) fairly off-putting?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

He was saying I have a fax from Cape Breton. Didn't you take a message?

I don't know if he was following me around, or what, but I saw Buster the Disowned Rankin Brother in two different parts of the city today. Both times he was cheerfully singing at the top of his lungs. The second time he talked to me for a while, and I would transcribe his conversation here, but I couldn't make out a single word except "Halifax" and "Cape Breton".

Was he perhaps claiming that Halifax is on Cape Breton Island? Was he telling me that he is from Cape Breton? Or from Halifax? Was he telling me that that's where he's headed? Some things science cannot answer.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Come on. EVERYONE knows that!

Guy on a cell phone: ... but are they magic zombies? Cause if they're not magic zombies you can't kill them.

-overheard on the 60

Friday, March 09, 2007

What your kids are really doing when you're away

Teen #1: Hey, my parents are out of town this week end. You guys should come over and we can build a fort.
Teen #2: (very excitedly) Oooh! With pillows?
Teen #1: Yeah! And we can use, like, dictionaries and big books to hold down the sheets!

-overheard at a high school in st. boniface

Thursday, March 08, 2007

What happens when you go out for ketchup?

Guy (looking at a bag of flour): That doesn't really seem like enough. But then, I usually spend about $1000 on a grocery store trip. When I only went out for mustard.

-overheard at the osborne village safeway

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Because there's nothing sexier than paint

Thanks to John for the submission

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Did you know I hate old people?

Old Bigot: Did you know I hate Indians?

-overheard at in a tim hortons on maryland

Monday, March 05, 2007

... but only after you're married.

Thanks to Jaimie for the submission

Friday, March 02, 2007

Sorry, no. We're just here to look at the food.

5 year old kid: Hey mom, can we buy something here?

-overheard at the osborne village safeway