Saturday, July 12, 2008

We're not jumping on the Mayor's bandwagon, he's jumping on ours.

In a move that may very well be the first the he ever does that I like, Winnipeg's Mayor, Sam Katz, has decided that Winnipeg's fabulous "Welcome" signs need to be replaced.

So the Mayor has some tough questions to answer, and some difficult deciding to do.

I have difficulty imagining a colour scheme less attractive than the current one (which seems to be inspired by what would happen if you took the Blue Bombers and left them out in the sun for too long,

In the 60's.

In a cartoon dream sequence.)

So that seems safe. But it is still uncertain whether the actual slogan will also be changed (thus rendering a Weakerthans song much less comprehensible, which may be the point).

Some suggested new slogans:

1. Centre of it All. Oh, I get it, because Winnipeg is the longitudinal centre of Canada. Or at least, pretty close. How about "Pretty close to the centre of it all"?

2. City of Opportunity. That's what Regina calls itself. Ask yourself. Do we want to be Regina?

3. Heart of the Continent. Right, like that first one, except, you know, less clever. And less true.

4. Heart of the Country. Does that make Alberta the pancreas?

5. (We don't want a slogan, just a new sign!)

And the Free Press's suggestions:

1. Centre of it all

2. City of Opportunity

3. Heart of the Continent

4. More than just the Middle of the Road. You're shooting high there: "We're actually not the mundane, boring place you undoubtedly think we are! Honest!"

5. Muddy Waters, Clear Skies. Okay... I kinda like this one.

Our suggestions:
Welcome Winnipeg: Smells like Mexico!
Welcome to Winnipeg: We have Syphilis!
Welcome to Winnipeg: Neil Young lived here for a while! And we were mentioned once on The West Wing!!!
Welcome to Winnipeg: Home of the Weirdos

Add your own suggestions in the comments box.


Anonymous said...

I still love the simpson's welcome sign. "Welcome to Winnipeg! We were born here, what's your excuse?"


Coral said...

I suggest.. "WINNIPEG! slurpee and reigning murder capital of Canada. coiincidence?"

Thpam said...

Welcome to Winnipeg: Nice to "wheat" you!

Jamie Isfeld said...

"Winnipeg: Where mediocrity is our expertise."

James P said...

Welcome to Winnipeg: Can you spare some change, man.

james p said...

Winnipeg: Neil Young used to live here and Burton Cummings won't leave

Anonymous said...

Winnipeg: First city of the West.

Anonymous said...

Winnipeg: For some reason we're proud of Burton Cummings

Winnipeg: For those that like swamps

Winnipeg: Yeah, we know it's cold out. Man up, Nancy.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to Winnipeg: Where streets turn into different streets without any warning!

Lorraine Woodward said...

okay, I live in the States, and if you want a good laugh, look into what happened when New Jersey (admittedly a laughing-stock, and in particular, known for its pollution) asked for submissions for a new slogan.

Some examples were:
"New Jersey: It Always Smells Like This"

"New Jersey ... Who Farted?"

"New Jersey, Just across the river from a real city."

"Most of Our Elected Officials Have Not Been Indicted"

They actually had hired a consultant who wanted them to go with "New Jersey: We'll win you over". They were about to unveil it but decided against it, which is when all of the lovely suggestions listed above came in from residents. I can't remmeber what ended up winning . .